WIP Diagnostic: Is This Working? A Closer Look at a MG Historical Opening Page

Critique by Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy WIP Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, place sample, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem. If you’re interested in submitting to WIP Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines. Submission currently in the queue: One Please Note: As of today, critique slots are booked through April 24. This week’s questions: 1. Is this in his view point? 2. Does it definitely sounds like a 10 -year-old boy? 3. Does this catch your attention and want to read more? 4. Am I indicate or telling? 5. Does this beginning even come close to a “hook”? 6. How can I improve this beginning? 7. Do these sentences announce mechanical or do they spurt with the story? 8. Did I concoction his thoughts in with the narrative? 9. Would Freddy’s boredom come across to the reader? Note: This is a resubmission. The previous forms are here: first, second, third, and fourthfor those curious to see how this revision has developed. Market/ Genre: Historical Middle Grade On to the diagnosis … Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com

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